Despite the lore dating back to Pokémon Gold and Silver claiming you can make a delicious soup from Slowpoke tails, the new Pokémon Cookbook doesn’t show you how to cook your Pokémon friends. Unlike the also-recently-released World of Warcraft cookbook, which features hearty recipes worthy of a feast, the Pokémon cookbook features light bites and cutely styled food that’s too precious to eat. Except I totally did, and I’m here to tell you that two hot dog wieners and a couple of stray potato chunks don’t make for the most ideal dinner.