The gadget galaxy in which we live — constellations of televisions, computers, DVD players, cellphones and other battery-powered, Wi-Fi delights — is held together by many forces. None are more potent and persistent than what shall heretofore be known as Schwarz’s Law: Try to upgrade one thing, and you will invariably downgrade three others.
The maxim holds in other matters in life and love, but is never quite so maddening than when one is wrestling with technology. Buy a new printer, and watch its fancy new software befuddle your desktop. Switch to Vista, and — wham-o! — your iPod and PDA drivers go on strike. And God help you if you decide to encrypt your Wi-Fi signals.
Even something as straightforward as purchasing a new television — a mere display, the ads wink — spawns a salivating beast of Ethernet, HDMI and surround-sound tentacles. I know this because my wife only recently disensnarled me from the one currently panting at our living-room baseboard, waiting for me to edge too close again.
This is the jungle that real-life consumers like me live in: a savage wilderness where intelligent beings enter only to be transformed into howling, chest-beating orangutans. The product reviewers and tech columnists we rely upon for guidance? They live in a fantasy land, receiving umpteen cameras and Blu-ray players gratis from various manufacturers, test-driving each model, and telling us which have what features. Real tough.
We commoners live in the real world: We must plunk down our own money, ask the product to work with our other gizmos, and — tee-hee — succeed in one try or live with the consequences.
This was my problem: When my new Hewlett-Packard MediaSmart television was called upon to play nice with my other perfectly utilitarian components (cable box, DVD player and computer), the 47-inch, or 1.2-meter, beauty…